Fifty Six: Probably TMI.

"And you tell me life's a bitch

But I don't really think you get this

And I wish that I'd not let you in any more

And I wish that I'd been a bit fussier about the kind of people that I let

through the door..."

Why I shouldn't have let you in- Tom Milsom

I'm currently listening to Tom Milsom and vaguely paying attention to  film on the background called 'Stuck on You' which so far is alright, I suppose. Though why they chose Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear to play conjoined twins I really don't know, because they look nothing like each other. Obviously they're not meant to be identical, but hey, they're meant to be related.

On another film related note, my brother and I watched about half an hour of The Dark Night before deciding that it was rubbish. I still have another film to choose for this month, so if you've got any recommendations, open fire. It's now June, so I can choose two films for this month. Recommendations please.

College is rubbish at the moment, and I can't wait to never have to go back. I skipped double Critical Thinking today last Wednesday to have lunch with Helen and talk about a whole bunch of things that are bothering me. It was good to have a different perspective on things. Anyway, we ended up going back to college to hang out with Katie, who was revising for her exam and we had a laugh pointing out the random things in her science textbooks and noticing the certain floral underwear of girls with practically see through skirts. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I spend my spare time doing. Although I've now officially left and it's half term and then study leave, I'll still be going back for revision sessons.

Exams are getting scarily close and if I'm not revising, then I'm worrying. I only have three of them (or two if you don't count Critical Thinking, which I don't. I'll turn up, but I'm not revising for it) so it could be worse and this time next month I'll be done. It's two weeks to my first exam (English Lit) and I'm panicking because I don't know anything. I'm surrounded by paper with notes about quotes and themes and stuff and none of it seems to be going in. The truth is, I've partly given up. Although I may do okay on English Lit, English Language is impossible. I know I'm probably going to end up going to Greenwich and although I don't really want to go to uni there, at least it will be further away from home.

And now to the reason why currently at the moment as to why I want to be further away from home. Yes, you guessed it, it's a boy related thing (primarily). I really liked him. Think I still do. I'm pretty sure he hates me and it's my fault, simply because I over reacted to something. I was wrong, and as a result of that, he said some stuff. A conclusion of this is that I don't think people should be allowed to walk into your life, mess you around and then walk out again; I don't understand how you can stop caring about someone. I don't have my feelings on a switch.

Anyway, so I'm a little stressed. Oh, and Jayne Geary (aka Key Skills teacher) has put me on Amber. There are no words that express how little I care about that subject, and is fairly low down my priority list.

I promise another blog soon that's more 'normal'.

B xxx

NB: This entry has taken quite a long time to write and was in fact written over 6 days. Just so you know.

Fifty Five: Attack of (sort of summer related) Google Images.

 

Inspired by owlssayhooot :)

B xxx :)

Fifty Four: Alriiiiggghht?

"They say all's fair in love and war

But this war's not fair

And my heart's still sore..."

They- Tom Milsom

Hello. So it's been a week since I last wrote an entry, and I did promise a 'normal' entry with stuff about books/exams/the summer/other general updates, so...


I suppose a good place start would be last Friday, when Lydia and I went to a gig at Southampton Solent Uni's Student Union*, to see Alex Day, Eddplant and Tom Milsom. It was odd seeing them irl- these are people who I’ve been watching for the past couple of years on YouTube and it was just...weird. However, they were good. I mean, really good. Pictures are on Facebook, but for the sake of it:

It's not the best picture but it's the only one I took with all three of them in it. I was bit apprehensive about going but I’m really glad I went. I did a little bit of Michael McIntyre skipping afterwards but I soon stopped because I was aware I was being embarrassing :P

Saturday was ‘work’(aka Oxfam). I finished reading ‘Yes Man’ by Danny Wallace**. Remember that for later. I had to work with someone who I don’t particularly like***but it actually ending up being okay. Went home, watched Doctor Who. Thoroughly confused my mum and nearly me, but I managed to work it out in the end. Not going on my favourite episode list, though I preferred it to the last episode.

Sunday I went to town. Found some £20 jeggings in the sale at Topshop. Bought a white top for the summer from New Look. Thought about ‘Yes Man’ some more (told you you’d need to remember it) and decided that the next question someone asked me, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. So I was walking through West Quay, waiting for someone to ask me something. Now, although I said ridiculous, I was thinking more along the lines of someone asking me the time or handing me a leaflet. Anyway, I wasn’t really paying attention and was thinking about lunch, when a man asked me how old I was****. When I told him I was 19, he told me about Love Film and I ended up signing up. I don’t know how, but I did...he was a very nice man; he asked me about college and uni and told me he had a sister doing a Masters degree in English, so we had a talk about that. I got my first dvd today, though I don’t remember choosing anything in particular...I’ll open it up and see what it is. Oh, it’s The Black Knight. I’ve heard of it but never watched it...I’ll watch it on Thursday, probably, so I’ll give my verdict then.


Books...or rather, book. I read Slam by Nick Hornby the other day. I liked it better than About A Boy, although the bit in the middle was weird. Haven’t really had a chance to read much else apart from books for English Literature. *try saying that when you're drunk. Also, the place it was actually in was called ‘The Venue’. Most unoriginal name ever. And it was on the third floor. Who puts a bar on the third floor of a building? And right by the stairs...


I’m watching the latest Come Dine With Me. One of the boys just said (and yes I did rewind to check this) “A good surprise for me is, maybe, if a fit little six inch lady would have popped out the cake and done a little dance on the top.” That’s 15.2 cm. I know very few people who want a lady the same size as a small ruler.

There’s only this week and next week and then it’s half term, and after that...two weeks of study leave before exams, then Alicia’s christening (mentioned in the last entry, I think) three exams, babysitting and freedom. I’m alright as long as I’m busy. I’m always alright. Anyway, on that not so cheerful note...

B xxx :)


**A good book, though it's not really the book of the film. Read it and you'll see.
***She's just a bit patronising. I've been doing my 'job' for four and a half years, and she acts like it's been four and a half minutes.
****I've just realised how dodgy that sounds.

Fifty Three: My Top Ten

Apologies for the last entry - I didn't actually post it, in case you were wondering, my email account got hacked and sent something to every email address- including the one I use to post on here. Which I actually think I've used twice.

"It's completely terrifying but it's so so exciting

He said I was brilliant and I could change the world

So many places I've been; there's so much more to see

We've got galaxies and planets and moons

And an awful lot of running to do..."

An Awful Lot of Running- Chameleon Circuit

Anyway, various things have been happening since the last proper entry, and I don’t really want to talk about any of them, so…


Top 10 Favourite Doctor Who episodes (in no particular order):


1. Series 1 Episode 1 "Rose"


On this list because it's responsible for introducing me to Doctor Who. I liked Rose- she seemed to be naturally curious about things.


Quotes of the episode:
The Doctor:...I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?
Rose: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!

2. Series 1 Episode 9/10 "The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances"


Hello Captain Jack :D Also, it became tradition in our house to knock on the door and ask ‘Are you my mummy?’. Aliens in gas masks- brilliantly simple.


Quotes of the episode:
Rose: Should that be a red alert?
The Doctor: That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings-all those red alerts, all that dancing.


Captain Jack: You just handed me a piece of paper saying that you're single and you work out.

3. Series 2 Episode 4 "The Girl in the Fireplace"


I loved Madame de Pompadour. Slightly crazy woman, but good for her for kissing the doctor. Also, that horse. And banana daiquiris. I also would like a spaceship with windows to certain times in my life.


Quotes of the episode:
Rose: Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?
The Doctor: Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man... Oh, and I met a horse.
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!


4. Series 2 Episode 12/13 "Army of Ghosts/Doomsday"


If you didn’t cry (or almost) when Rose left, then you’re not human. When they said Cybermen and Daleks, I was a bit put off, but I think it worked well enough. Also, the episode responsible for the catchphrase ‘Allons-y’.


Quotes of the episode:
The Doctor: Who you gonna call?
Rose: Ghostbusters!
The Doctor: I ain't afraid of no ghost.


The Doctor: I like that, "Allons-y". I should say allons-y more often. Look sharp, Rose Tyler, allons-y! And then it would be really brilliant if I met someone called Alonso, 'cause then I could say allons-y Alonso every time...


5. Series 3 Episode 8/9 "Human Nature/The Family of Blood"


I really felt for Martha in this episode- the Doctor said to her "Don't let me abandon you" and she felt that he had completely. She had to watch him fall in love with someone else, and that kills. As for the Family themselves, they were alright I suppose. Those scarecrows were a bit weird though.


Quotes of this episode:
Tim Latimer: He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe. And... he's wonderful.


6. Series 3 Episode 10 "Blink"


This episode is unbelievably clever and is a bit like piecing together a jigsaw. Aliens that turn to stone when they see you- they could be anywhere. Realistically scary.


Quotes of this episode:
The Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect... but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.


7. Series 4 Episode 6 "The Doctor's Daughter"


I loved Jenny, she was more or less how I pictured her. I wasn’t too sure about those weird creature thingies (feel free to correct me if you actually know their name. I may Google it later).


Quotes of this episode:
Donna: You are completely impossible!
The Doctor: Not impossible... just a bit unlikely.


Donna: He saves planets, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures... and runs a lot. Seriously, there is an outrageous amount of running involved.


8. Series 4 Episode 9/10 "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead"


River Song is like Marmite- you either love her or you hate her. I’m intrigued by her and can’t wait how to see how she features in future episodes. Though it was interesting in the Series 5 episode with her in.


Quotes of this episode:
Mr Lux: Oh, for heaven's sake! Look at the pair of you, we're all going to die here and you're just squabbling like an old married couple!


9. Christmas Special "The End of Time"


I didn’t want him to go. You probably didn’t want him to go. So why did he have to go? I already talked about the first episode of the two in this blog entry.


Quotes of this episode:
The Doctor: I'm going to die.
Wilfred: Well, so am I one day.
The Doctor: Don't you dare!
Wilfred: Alright, I'll try not to!


The Doctor: I don't want to go.


1o. Series 5 Episode 1 "The Eleventh Hour"


Best first episode ever. That’s all I have to say.


Quotes of this episode:
The Doctor: Can I have an apple? All I can think about—apples. I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving. That's new—never had cravings before…


The Doctor: Of course you're not scared. Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of box, man eats fish custard, and look at you! Just... sitting there.


The Doctor: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically... run.


Amy Pond: I thought... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box!


Normal entry with stuff about books, exams, and the summer at some point.


B xxx

Fifty One/Two: Part Two.

"I need to be bold

Need to jump in the cold water

Need to grow older with a girl like you

Finally see you are naturally

The one to make it so easy

When you show me the truth

Yeah, I'd rather be with you

Say you want the same thing too"

I'd rather be with you - Joshua Radin

I decided I'd do a collage of pictures, rather than posting them individually.

In this picture:
Posing with bronze statues, Leaving Puerto Vallarta, Writing my name on the beach, man on a dancing horse, a statu of a ballerina, the shopping centre in Puerto Vallarta, the arch in Cabo San Lucas, watching bricks being made, me and mum being silly, getting soaked by a wave, the beach, a small girl working at a brick making site, my mum, the market in Mazatlan and Mexican dancers.
Other things that happened that aren't in these pictures:
Saw dolphins, lost at Scrabble, sunbathed, ate free food, saw sealions, went on a glass bottom tour, briefly had a pelican stalker, got two braids in my hair, saw two stingray up close and wrote a lot.

Also, this has got nothing to do with holidays, but look how adorable she is:

This was taken when I went to see Greenwich Uni and stayed with Richard and Patti, who are distant relations. They named their baby Alicia (pronounced A-liss-ya) and it's her christening in June. I have no idea what to wear to it, so if anyone's got any ideas, I’m open to them. I’ve seen the chapel wear she’s going to be christened, and it’s beautiful- it’s actually part of the university grounds so heaven forbid I end up going to Greenwich at least I’ll have a quiet-ish place. When there’s not tourists.

Anyway,bye...

B xxx :)

Fifty One: Part One.

"Rien n'est plus dangereux qu'une idée quand on n'a qu'une idée."

Alain (Émilie-Augsuste Chartier), taken from Propos sur la religion. NB: not a book I've actually read.

Why are decisions so hard to make?



A primary reason for decisions being so hard to make is that they have consequences. When deciding which decision to make, most people will tell you that the first thing they’ll do is to make a pros and cons list. This can be affective, particularly if you have very few options and if one list outweighs the other, the problem is easily solved, a decision is made and the world carries on as normal. However, not all decisions are that easy to make. There may be several options. A pros and cons list may not help at all- they are mostly full of hypothetical points, after all. You are trying to predict the future. So, you may ask, how do you decide what to do when the decision is not so simple? Well, you do what I’m doing now: you sit down, you get a pen and paper and you write. You try and make a sense of the situation that you are in. As Noah Bennett (Claire Bennett’s dad on Heroes) said “Perhaps you need to understand who you were to know where you are going.” He suggests that if we look at the past we will be able to understand our present, and indeed, our future. I’m sure there’s a stack of quotes against that – most telling us to seize the day (“Carpe diem” among others). And if you don’t manage to fully understand the situation, you have, at least, defined it. Next, come of the list options, which, in a decision like this, is long and calls for many piles of pros and cons. We worry- do we trust our head, or do we trust our heart? Our head contains logic and all things sensible, whereas our heart contains emotion, but also our instincts. After all this, you should have arrived at a conclusion which contains the decision best for you. What do you mean you haven’t come to one? Well, it could be because the decision could depend on another person’s reactions, which are difficult to predict, not matter how well you think you know the person. This is one of those times when you imagine having a conversation with this person, planning what they will say and how they will react. It’s not a good idea, as most of the time they will react in a completely different way. So what do you do? Well, you could risk it, go ahead and see what happens. But if you’re a bit of a wimp and worried about the consequences, you tend to leave it, generally with the phrase ‘I’ll just wait and see what happens’. Your decision is to not make a decision. You do nothing at all. Which can go either way really. There’s a chance it’ll work out for the best. But there’s also a chance that the worse decision you can make is to not make a decision at all. So you’re faced with whether to make a decision about making a decision. Confused? Don’t blame you. Of course, other people often offer advice. Sometimes this helps. Other times people don't understand what there is to decide about and simply laugh it off.

So,how do you decide? I'd like to tell you I know, but I don't.

B xxx

P.S.  Part Two will be tomorrow, and will contain normal, holiday related things.

Fifty: Fiiivvveeee Oohhhh.

"Don't unplug me

or just shut me down

Please just love me

with your steel heart

I'd reboot you

If you'd look at me

With those cold eyes

One more time..."

Don't Unplug Me- ALL CAPS

Yeah, that 'proper' blog I started sort of got pushed aside due to the huge amount of work I suddenly had. Teachers don't seem to understand the concept of holidays. At all. Anyway, I suppose I could copy and paste what I already wrote...

Last Wednesday I got a phone call from Lydia, and she and Dominic picked me up to go theirs for a dvd night (via Tesco to buy popcorn) and while we were waiting for the popcorn to heat up in the microwave, Lydia put her iPod on and hip wiggling to Lady Gaga somehow happened...anyway, at some point Lydia said something along the lines of “Bottom punching is not an acceptable dance move.” We watched Juno, which is one of my favourite films (and one I probably should have put down in my last entry as my favourite film instead of Twilight :P). One of my favourite quotes from it is spoken by Juno’s dad, when he says to Juno “Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.”

Anyway (I'm highly aware that I’ve used that word a lot. Sorry about that.) Other stuff that I was going to talk about included going to town (I tried my first BLT. And I have three words to say about it: Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot believe I have gone through my entire life and not had one.) to do shopping, books I’ve been reading (or haven’t been reading. I’ve had if nobody speaks of remarkable things since my birthday and I still haven’t read it. It’s very unlike me.) and a good general moan about life. However, there is packing to be done and this essay isn't going to write itself...
B xxx

P.S. I have American Dollars. They smell like my childhood.



P.P.S. John Green googles himself. If famous authors are doing it, then I’m allowed to do it. :P