Ninety Eight: Thankful.

I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but even still, here is a list of little and not so little things I'm thankful for:


-sunshine
-tea
-nice shower gel
-Doctor Who
-libraries
-old books
-family
-Harry Potter
-the kindness of strangers
-new books
-friends
-pianos
-lovely skype conversations
-my bed
-being at uni
-music
-stupid dance moves
-cupcakes
-travelling
-my penguin


I'll probably think of more and add them later. Going to see Hannah (one of my housemates) perform in a concert tonight. Parents are coming down tomorrow, going out for the day, pub lunch, watching the Christmas Lights being switched on and also watching fireworks then staying with them in a B & B. Sunday I plan to bring out my keyboard, write some essays, rewatch some Doctor Who and eat lots of junk food. Good weekend :)


Muchos Love. 


B xxx :)

Ninety Seven: Reading Week.

-Had lunch with Mum. 
-Got my hair cut. 
-Got new glasses. 
-Had lunch with Nana. 
-Went to Kingston Uni. 
-Bought things I didn't need (a Christmas bauble and a cup and saucer. What, they were pretty!) when shopping in Kingston. 
-Ate some good Italian food here. 
-Played with my cousins cat (despite being allergic. You know I have a weakness for small fluffy things.)
-Ate a roast dinner with my cousins (which was lovely, because I haven't had a roast dinner at uni yet. Though now I think it should happen...)
-Went shopping in Romsey. 
-Went shopping in town. 


I can't really remember what else I did because this was in October and it's now November but I was just looking at the things I hadn't posted and this made me remember good things, so...anyway. 




B xxx :)

Ninety Six: Goobledy gook.

"Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!"

Alice, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

I'll be honest with you, I am missing one of my best friends. However, there is very little that can be done about the situation, as apologising would be pointless, speech is not something I am capable of, my heart hurts so naturally my instincts tell me to hide out in the library and watch Doctor Who (all I have to say about that is: Steven Moffat, what are you doing to my emotions?). I don't want to reduce people to a list of things and memories, but yet this what I'm doing:

1. Jacqueline Wilson books.
2. Hobbycraft.
3. Prefect duty.
4. Mr Porter and 'make it work!'. 
5. Skipping Orchestra and going back to yours.
6. Watching ridiculous music videos. 
7. Flying saucers. 
8. Putting too many marshmallows in my mouth. 
9. Michael McIntyre. 
10. YouTube. 
11. Seeing Alex Day, Eddplant and Tom Milsom perform. 
12. Soul Survivor. 
13. Prefect 'duty'. 
14. Our duet.
15. 'Men are like party rings...'
16. White chocolate. 
17. GCSE Art and Queen. 
18. Harry Potter. 
19. David Tennant. 
20. Doctor Who. 
21. That necklace we bought when we were in about year 8. I have the one that says 'Best' on it. 
22. The Kooks. 
23. School trip to the Tate. 
24. Music practise room. 
25. The bench. 
26. Blue or red boxers, I can never remember which. 
27. Following on from the above: Usher. 
28. Boomshine. 
29. The pub. 
30. Paris. 
31. That time when we couldn't stop laughing and no one knew why.
32. Paperchase. 
33. The wall at college. 
34. Church. 




I know this doesn't prove anything, but this is what's inside my head right now, and I felt the need to get it out. That's all. 

Ninety Five: Thought. Possibly thoughts.

So I think a lot. And I've come to the conclusion that whether people leave by choice or not, with explanation or not, with saying goodbye first or not, it still sucks. It really sucks. I don't think I can put in to words how much it sucks, so you should just take it from me that it does and I'll leave it at that. But either way there's still a person missing from your life and you find yourself questioning the role that person played in your life. Because there are people -a surprising amount of people- who actually make a difference in your life, who make your life better, who make you better, and some times you don't realise it, because it's not this big, grand gesture, it's a little thing, or lots of little things. And then after they leave, and some times it's your fault, and then you have to start again, shape you life again around the gap that they leave.
Anyway, that's all I have to say. 
B xxx

Ninety Four:

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!'"

C.S. Lewis

So this really isn't write a entry every day in July, but more just write more entries than usual in July...but BALMFIJ (Blogging a Little More Frequently in July) doesn't really have a ring to it. 


One of the most important things I need to discuss is Harry Potter. It's been a week since I saw it and it's still not sunk in that there are no more films to look forward to. I don't feel able to put into words how I feel about the last film, but I actually cried. I say actually because I've never cried at a film before- I felt all mushy and welled up- but I started when McGonagall and everyone were putting the protective spells around Hogwarts and then by the end I just couldn't stop. If I was going to cry at any film, I'm glad it was that one. 


In other news, I had a job interview at the ferry- I find out if I got it by the end of today. The interview went well but I'm not sure if there'll be someone who's got more experience than me that'll get the job. 


I don't really feel like talking about anything else, and I'm hungry, so...


B xxx


Reading: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. 
Listening: Teenage Rebel by Chameleon Circuit. 
Watching: Torchwood. 
Drinking: Tea. 
Eating: Lunch. 
Smelling: Rain. 

Ninety Three: zzz.

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

Franklin Roosevelt

One is reminded daily that life cannot stop, however much one wishes it too. One says to one's self that one's current situation cannot last forever, and therefore one should remain hopeful. But yet one does not, as one's situation sucks. And now one has started referring to  one's self as one, one is finding it rather hard to stop. 


I went to Hythe today, and ended up buying two dresses and a cardigan...yeah, I'm supposed to be saving money. I drove my Nana's car this afternoon, which was horrible as the gas pedal is really weird and it's all just odd and a bit like starting driving all over again but I didn't crash, or stall. 


I don't really have much to say today, sorry about that...


B xxx


Reading: The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chobosky. 
Listening: For Good from the Wicked soundtrack. 
Drinking: Whatever. 
Eating: Roast dinner. 
Smelling: Ant powder. 

Ninety Two

"For my part I know nothing of any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."

Vincent Van Gogh

I have 20 minutes until the battery on my laptop dies...unless I suddenly develop an idea for a ridiculously long blog post, I think I can manage this entry in time. 


So yesterday my parents got back about 8 and my brother got back about midnight, so our entire house has descended into chaos and the living room has disappeared under piles of clothes. 


Today involved going in to town in order for my dad to swap the jacket he bought the other day for something better, which basically involved me and my Mum sounding a bit like Gok Wan, pulling out jackets and saying things along the lines of  "No, I don't think that one will do, it won't go with those trousers" and "He's definitely a 42, maybe a 40. We need one with longer sleeves though" during which my Dad looked slightly annoyed but bemused at the same time. My mum and I shopped around the sales for a bit in John Lewis- I didn't find anything I could afford...I've been told I have expensive taste. We had time to kill so we ventured into Hollister, aka the darkest shop in the world. They had some really nice stuff in there, but none of it that I could afford (again). I feel a trip to Primark coming on...


B xxx 


Reading: The Rain Before It Falls by Jonathan Coe.
Listening: Rewind by Goldspot. 
Watching: Top Gear.
Drinking: Hot Chocolate. 
Eating: Lemon Cake. 
Smelling: Clean sheets. 

Ninety One: One of those days.

"...unrequited love can be survived in a way that once requited love cannot."

John Green

I am only human, and therefore as I am only human, I am subject to days, that well, suck. And when these days happen there is very little I can do, except to roll with it, to ride it out, etc (insert similar phrases here). 


Okay, so I suck majorly at keeping up with this blog. Oh, and because I'm using Google Chrome, it's just informed me that 'majorly' isn't a word and suggested I replace it with 'majorca'. No. Anyway, I haven't been up to much in the past week or so, due to the fact that I live in a country with rubbish weather. I painted the fences in the back garden on Monday, which proved oddly therapeutic. Tuesday and Wednesday involved sitting on the sofa eating my body weight in junk food. Thursday I went and drank tea in Costa with Andrew and we came up with some genius ideas that we're going on Dragons Den with. We're going to be millionaires. Pub quiz followed in the evening, where we came second to last...bit of a fail. Yesterday I had a driving lesson in which I ended up having to practise clutch control and drove on dual carriageway and over two flyovers and round lots of scary roundabouts. Today...well, I have to tidy up and paint fences and sort out paperwork, none of which I really want to do. 


B xxx


Reading: erm...nothing right now. 
Listening: The A Team by Ed Sheeran. 
Watching: Russell Howard's Good News.
Drinking: Hot chocolate. 
Eating: Rice Krispies. 
Smelling: Washing up liquid. 

Ninety: Sunday.

“I was one of those weird children that just couldn’t talk to people, so I kind of had to make myself be not like that because I knew it was going to hinder me. I was going on stage trying to sing but couldn’t get anything out. My voice was quivering but I knew that I just had to keep on doing it because you only get scared of stuff that you don’t know; you’ve just got to familiarise yourself with it and then it’s fine.”

Karen Gillan

It is Sunday, the day in our household where nobody really does anything and it's pretty much guaranteed that we're all going to be in the house. I didn't really do anything significant this morning, just stayed in bed and finished listening to Michael McIntyre's audiobook whilst drinking hot chocolate, then got up and watched Penn & Teller from last night. It's a good show, and it's making me really want to try and learn magic...however knowing my lack of co-ordination and general clumsiness, it might take a while. 

I spent the afternoon downloading music...if you have any recommendations, I'll have a listen. I think I've got a bit of everything on my iPod. Made the most of the sun this afternoon whilst trying to ignore my mum shouting "COME ON NADAL!!" at the TV. Ate homemade scones and drank tea (because I'm British :P). Fairly standard day, really.  

B xxx :)

Reading: High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (still...).
Listening: What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club.
Watching: The Railway Children (re-visiting my childhood). 
Drinking: Tea. 
Eating: Scones. 
Smelling: Feet. 

Eighty Nine: Frustration.

"My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s."

Oscar Wilde

No, I'm not talking about the game. Though now I've mentioned it, I really want to play it...I don't think we ever had one though.

Basically, I was meant to be doing my theory test but due to the fact that not only they mixed up the times but I did as well, meant that I didn't end up doing it. Which was frustrating because it meant that I went to town for nothing, and also, it's one of those things I just wanted to do and get it out of the way. I went to Debenhams and waited for an hour before hand, seeing as I got a lift in when my Dad took my brother to tennis and Debenhams is practically next door to the theory test place. I sat in their temporary cafe (read: a really small place with some chairs and tables, food and a coffee machine) and played peek-a-boo with an adorable toddler and attempted to do some last minute revision, in the hope that something would go in. 

Anyway, I then got picked up by my Dad, but not before witnessing a pervy old man and a woman in fluroscent pink high heels. Delightful. Then spent the afternoon listening to Michael McIntyre read his autobiography on my iPod sat outside in the sun,eventually coming in when it got too hot. 

B xxx :)

Reading: High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (still, I'm nearly finished though). 
Listening: Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall by Coldplay. 
Watching: Wimbledon (BBC, and I'm not properly paying attention to it...). 
Drinking: Squash. 
Eating: Roast dinner.
Smelling: Rubber.

Eighty Eight: JEDI July.

"You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only differences between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it."

Neil Gaiman

It's that time of year again when I attempt JEDI July. If you don't know what that it is, go here for an explanation. I feel a little out of practice in terms of blogging, which is probably due to the fact that I've averaged about 1 entry a month since September...but anyway, here goes. 


Yes, I know I'm behind, already! Not intentionally, I wrote that introduction on Friday. I started writing the rest of the entry, but if I'm honest, it sounded really boring. This is the problem I have- I get an idea for a blog in my head, and then when I write it down it never seems to work. So instead I've decided to stick to just telling you about my day, as thrilling as that may be :P


Driving. 
I started driving lessons about a month ago now, although it seems a lot longer than that. Friday's lesson involved driving for about half an hour before practising reversing round a corner from the left, which is more difficult than I thought it would be, but apparently I'm not completely terrible at it. 


Bowling. 
Was fun, even though I'm still not good at aiming, or holding the ball the way you're supposed to, blah blah blah. And I ate far too much junk food. 


Uni results. 
I got 2:1s in everything, which I'm pleased and slightly amazed at. I know I haven't always put 100% in to my work so my goals for the next academic year basically involve being a hermit (when I'm not ordering Dominos to my door- which I can finally do!- and ordering Chinese...despite the fact that there's a place just across the road from my house...)

B xxx :)


Reading: High Fidelity by Nick Hornby.
Listening: White Blank Page by Mumford & Sons.
Watching: King Of... (Channel 4).
Drinking: Tea.
Eating: Biscuits.
Smelling: Barbecues. 

Eighty Seven: 64 things I want you to know.

And yes, I should have posted this sooner. But whatever.

1. I'm glad someone doesn't.
2. That's negotiable.
3. You're welcome.
4. I will probably miss you too, although I hate missing people and therefore try not to.
5. I know.
6. erm..thanks, I guess?
7. I also know. Doesn't mean I will, though.
8. I disagree.
9. I know, have we not met? I am annoying. Fact.
10. Meh.
11. Again, I disagree. I think he's very much worth the bother.
12. Hhmm...I don't know.
13. I disagree. Plenty of people and things are worth the bother. You just have to choose the right ones.
14. I know.
15. I'm trying very hard not to let it be.
16. It is.
17. Shut up.
18. I'm not going to write one.
19. I don't like teenage vampires.
20. I swear I did. If I didn't, I apologise for my bad manners.
21. Cheers.
22. Fair enough.
23. Easier said than done.
24. See above.
25. I sort of already have.
26. I don't know what I want.
27. I could never work too hard :P
28. It entertains me greatly to do so.
29. I will when I work out what it is.
30. I'm trying not to let them.
31. Yes, but I will never be like them though.
32. Who is her?
33. Two words: no comment.
34: See above answer.
35: Telephone directories do not count as books and they would be boring to read.
36. Right...
37. Shut up.
38. Yes, yes they are.
39. Hhmm...debatable.
40. I was never cool.
41. Depends where it is.
42. Right...
43. I guessed as much.
44. You're contradicting yourself. Welcome to my world.
45. I'm going to take that as a compliment.
46. You don't.
47. What would you like to know?
48. Hhmm...
49. I have no desire to fuck my English lecturer. I am aware of how bad that sentence looks when you take it out of context.
50. They're right.
51. Of course. And you haven't seen all of them.
52. :)
53. Marilyn Monroe bit?
54. ...
55. They did.
56. I don't have a problem talking about it, it happened a long time ago.
57. Go the Disney store.
58. I'm sure someone will give you one.
59. I think I will as well. I am a terrible driver.
60. I think you're right.
61. I'd rather be alive than dead.
62. I have found it is difficult to be safe these days.
63. Safety is not being around people who hurt you. There are many other definitions, google them.
64. For what?

Eighty Six: Inside My Head.

I started to write a blog the other day about the reasons why I love Doctor Who (I should probably tell you now that this is going to go far, far away from being a post about that), but then I started to realise that they pretty much extend to well, just about everything that I love, because I prefer fantasy to reality. Which sounds like a bad thing, and it probably is, but then I started to question where the line is between fantasy and reality and it actually seemed a lot closer together than I thought.


I mean, take Doctor Who for example. There are the fantasy elements of the show (obviously) that I love, like the trips to planets and places and different times, and the Doctor himself (again, obviously) that draws you in, that’s different from reality, that’s not something you can step outside of the house and find on your street. Then there are the reality elements, the things that make the show human. I’m not just talking about companions, but about the Doctor himself. Though on second thoughts, maybe it is partly about the companions- it’s like the Doctor has become more human as a result of them. When we meet the Ninth Doctor for the first time, you kind of get the impression that he’s not a fan of the human race. He envies them, perhaps because their lives seem so unbelievably simple to him and it doesn’t seem fair to him that he has to deal with being the only Timelord left, that humans don’t/won’t have to deal with what he has to deal with on the same level, that their identity appears to be so set in stone. It’s like when he says to Rose in the first episode of Series 1, ”The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at 1,000 miles an hour and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour, and I can feel it. We’re falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go…That’s who I am.” It’s obvious that the Doctor’s changed Rose- she went from working in a shop to travelling through time and space- but perhaps it’s not so obvious how Rose changed the Doctor. It’s like the Doctor represents fantasy and Rose/the other companions are reality. They keep the Doctor in check. They remind him of his emotional side. Losing Rose hurt, but I probably don’t have to tell you that. Martha…I don’t like Martha as much as Rose because I don’t think she was as good as reminding the Doctor about his compassionate side like Rose did. She didn’t have that connection with the Doctor. I didn’t think she believed in the Doctor as much as Rose did, but then she fell in love with him and the Master would have probably destroyed most of the universe if she didn’t believe in him so I’ve kind of changed my mind about that. And I can relate to her fancying someone who doesn’t feel the same way- that’s the important thing about anything fantasy programme- it has to be relatable. You go too far away from fantasy and it’s not believable. It’s an incredibly difficult balance to get. The companions- they’re not leaders of countries, celebrities- they’re just normal people. Though not unimportant. (“You know, in 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important!” 2010 Christmas Special). Donna is one of my favourite companions, mainly because she can stand up for herself, she can put the Doctor in her place. In the Fires of Pompeii episode (Series 4) she makes the Doctor go back to save Caecilius’ family, something he hasn’t done before. And then Amy comes along. She’s my favourite companion. She loves the Doctor, she loves Rory, she has her own life while she has a life in the TARDIS. She’s got the balance.


On a different note, I love books. And I’m not just talking about fantasy books (though I do have a lot of them). When you get a new book, it’s exciting and wonderful and it really is like a stepping in to a different world. You forget that you’re sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea. Old books are like coming home and having a warm bubble bath; they’re familiar and comfortable, but no less exciting. And of course, this leads us on to Harry Potter. As a child I’d always loved reading, but there was something about Harry Potter that drew me in. That’s the sign of good writing, when you can create characters that are so believable that they cross your mind from fantasy to reality. That’s why I try to do when I write. And again, it’s that combination of fantasy and reality that Doctor Who has- Harry is battling Voldemort and basilisks and dragons etc (the list is endless) but at the same time he’s growing up as a normal teenager and having to deal with making friends, losing his godfather, falling in love, losing people. If I can write half as well as that, then I’ll be happy.




Anyway, this has been long and rambling enough…


B xxx :)

Eighty Five:

This was going to be an entry based around the last episode of Glee (that was shown in the US, aka 'Born This Way') but it was filled with clichés about accepting yourself so I didn't really want to write it. That, and I've written 4 essays and done an exam this week so I'm not really in the mood for writing a long entry, so instead I've started writing again without really knowing where I'm going with this, as per usual :P I think it's best I make a list about things I want to talk about it, because apparently I'm good at writing those.

1. Doctor Who.

Come on, you should have seen this one coming. The new series (so far), is good. I liked the second episode better than the first, but still...the amount of cliffhangers in them both is astounding. And my brain is going crazy with theories after the second episode. I'm still not exactly decided about River Song- I like the fact that she's a lot more flirty with the Doctor this series, but there's a moment at the end of the second episode (spoilers!) that almost made me pity her. And River Song doesn't strike me as a woman who needs to be pitied. Oh, and Rory? Sweetest boyfriend ever.

2. Harry Potter.

It was only a couple of days after watching the trailer for Deathly Hallows Part 2 that it occured to that it would be the last time I'd ever watch a Harry Potter trailer. It doesn't really bother me, as I know that just because it's over it doesn't mean that I'll stop watching the films or reading the books, and that 10 years from now I'll probably be doing the same. If we were to get all mushy for a moment I'd talk about how it's changed my life and that there quite a few people who wouldn't be in my life right now if it wasn't for Harry Potter, but you'd probably give me a weird look.

3. Summer Ball.

Well, I wouldn't call it a 'ball' exactly, more like a night at the SU where there's marquees outside and hog roast (nom nom nom), a crepe van (even more nom nom nom, I may not be able to fit into my dress by the end of the night), laser quest, bungee run and a rodeo bull. Supposedly. I'm sort of looking forward to it, but at the same I'm thinking I'd much rather either a) have a night in with a tub of Ben & Jerry's, a few films and the rest of my hallmates who aren't going or b) have a night out involving going to several pubs and then finishing and the chinese with previously mentioned hallmates. But...my ticket was £27 and I've bought new shoes, so I'll go. It'll be...interesting.

4. University.

In general has been ridiculously stressful recently what with exams and essays and arguments but I think things have settled down now (hopefully). I finish handing in work on the 10th and then I'll have officially finished my first year...wow, that's weird. I'm staying in accommodation until the 4th June, so I'm looking forward to just doing nothing, catching up with people and generally enjoying this sunny weather we seem to be having lately :P

5. Home.

I've been more homesick this semester than last, so I've gone home more, but I've found it hasn't helped as everytime I go back to uni I feel worse. I don't know what it is in particular that I miss; maybe it's living in an actual house, maybe it's my family. I actually said I missed my brother the other day...well, there's a first time for everything.

6. Other stuff.

Having been a deprived child (and teenager, and everything else...) I've started trying to catch up on all the things I missed, which so far seemed to have included watching Disney films and eating candyfloss. I have a long list of films and TV shows to watch...as I write, I'm watching the IT crowd. I love Moss. He's my favourite. Anyway...

B xxx :)

Eighty Four: Little things.

-When the hallway smells nice after someone's had a shower.
-Freshly washed clothes and sheets.
-Bouncing around on my space hopper.
-Toast and tea in my TARDIS mug.
-The smell of books.
-My ukulele.
-Getting dolly mixtures from the Student Union shop.
-Eating too much pizza and not being able to move.
-Spontaneous trips to the pub.
-Phone calls from my family.
-Good weather.
-Looking ridiculous and not caring.
-Lovely people.
-Chocolate croissants in the microwave.
-A new idea.
-Freshly cut grass.
-Getting post.
-Mini eggs.
-Lie ins.
-Weekends.
-Spontaneous trips everywhere.

B xxx :)

Eighty Three: 64.

I feel guilty because the only reason I'm writing this entry is tell you I've started a new blog. It's not going to replace this, it's just that I've written a list of 64 things I want to do before 2013 that aren't all obvious (well some are, like get my degree. But most aren't.) and so I wanted to keep a blog so I could keep all that stuff in one place and not have to bore you with it. I've already doing some of them, I'm just too lazy to update :P Proper blog soon...I promise. I've got something planned, I just need to write it. B xxx