Sixteen: Poems, Graveyards and Cookies.

The words I write aren't words at all
When I pick up my pen
And hear the call
To write, they say,
I say I cannot
They say don't be stupid
You've simply forgot
You used to be good
At getting out of your head
What you wanted to say
But wrote down instead
And now there is college
With boys on your mind
So when you try to write
There aren't words to find
That tell the story I want
There are no perfect lines
No matter how hard I try
I can't think of the rhymes
So the words I write aren't words at all
They're the thoughts on the paper
That's curled into a ball
Now I'm writing things I know I'll regret
But whatever I do
I can't seem to forget
Which is why
The words I write aren't words at all.

That poem is untitled, as for now.

I'm home alone this half term and consequently my mother decided to phone me this afternoon. I instead ended up having a conversation with my brother about graveyards, because he and mum went to see some to find out some dates for the family tree thing he's doing.

As for cookies...the first batch I made disappeared really quickly. I think the cookie monster might have been involved somehow. I'd quite happily share my cookies with him and hang out, but he's not a logical creature.

Off to feel old and watch Star Trek.

B xxx :)

Fifteen: It's all good.

I was going to say that I've done all of my goals for this week, but I haven't organised my paperwork, which is going to be done at the weekend. I have, however, finished my personal statement, organised my computer files, have stopped being ill, started to fill in my notebook for NaNoWriMo, and have made some cookies. I've also discovered how apps work on my iPod, finished two collages for my room and ordered some books and dvds, of which 13 Going on 30, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Juno and Love, Stargirl arrived today, as well as a necklace for my mum for Christmas, which I wasn't sure she'd like, so I asked her and she said yes and hugged me, so it's all good. I'm just making changes to my personal statement now, and then my mum can pay and that will all be done.

Speaking of my mum, here's a stupid conversation we had the other day:

Mum: I don't know where to park.
Me: I ain't bovvered.
Mum: You've hurt your foot? where?
Me: What? I said 'I ain't bovvered'. How did you get that I've hurt my foot from that?
Mum: I don't know.

Also, before we made cookies (I made them, she watched and did mixing when my arms got tired. and she's also hopefully now doing the washing up ^_^) I had to look up bicarbonate of soda on the internet, because we didn't have any I had to look it up to see whether it was a key ingredient or not, and www.bicarbonateofsoda.co.uk lists the different names for it, and then says (and I quote) "There are so many uses for Bicarbonate of Soda that you could write a book on the subject. So I did." I think I've found someone with a sadder life than me :)

Right, UCAS has been done :) Finally, I can breathe. For a little while. I've got iTunes on shuffle so I'm going to listen to that and maybe eat some more cookies. Basically, yay.

B xxx :D

Fourteen: Brain explosion.

A conversation I had with my mother when coming back from London.

*sees advert for MacBook Air*

Me: I want that laptop.
Mum: Why didn't you choose that one, then?
Me: Because it costs over £1,000.
Mum: *looks shocked* oh.

I can't do my personal statement. I'm convinced it's impossible. I'm now reading what feels like every English personal statement on the planet in an attempt to find inspiration to add things. It has to be anything up to 4000 characters and I'm on...1,314. Which is progress, I suppose, but that's still roughly 3000 characters to go...I'll be glad when it's finished and all I have to worry about it is coursework. Which I should probably do today as well...

As it's Sunday, I'd thought I'd do my goals for the next week, so:

1. Finish personal statement.

2. Do something when it comes to coursework.

3. Organise paperwork.

4. Organise computer files.

5. Stop being ill. (Though this isn't entirely within my control...)

6. Start filling in my notebook with stuff to with NaNoWriMo in relation to characters, plot ideas etc.

7. Make some cookies. (There's a recipe in a book I've got that has them white chocolate and cherries in, so I thought I'd give it a go...)

I can't think of anything else, but if I do, I'll add to it.

I'm worried about some of the books I've seen people buying at Oxfam lately...an old Irish lady bought a book about Victorian erotic fiction and yesterday a man bought a book called Sex and Sexuality (he was also slightly creepy...anyway, it's not my place to judge). His friend kept picking up the bookmarks and smelling them, like you do when you get when one of those cards that they spray perfume on to. Oxfam isn't a perfume shop.

I'm looking at Doctor Who gadgets on amazon. I've decided I want to make my desk more interesting than it is, so I'm going to take all the stuff off the top shelf and find some interesting stuff to put up there. I have a plastic Wall-e from Poundland, so he can go up there :) Ooh, they do Doctor Who mouse mats for a fiver, I should get one for my brother for Christmas. I'm struggling to find anything for my desk, although they do have a 5 inch tall figure of the Doctor in his blue suit. They've made him look a bit fat. I'm going to look for Torchwood and Heroes and various other stuff, but I won't bore you with the details because I'm aware this is getting a bit long...

B xxx :)

Thirteen: Update on goals.

Tomorrow is Sunday and that's the end of the week, so I'd thought I'd do an update on my goals...I've done most of them. I've posted my job application, I've read to Chapter 20 in Howards End, I've watched Scrubs, I've read a book that isn't Howards End (Catching Fire, btw= brilliant) and I've been to Romsey (though I didn't buy anyone's Christmas presents because I didn't see anything that made me think 'Oh that'd make a good present for [insert name here]'). I haven't, however, done my personal statement, which I should probably make a start on, seeing as the college deadline for UCAS applications is Monday...

I'm tired and need to proof read my brother's coursework, so hasta la vista baby...

B xxx :)

Twelve: Every title I think of seems boring, so you're just going to have to read it...

Tried to upload blog yesterday but internet failed on me. :(

I've been ill this week, but yesterday I had to go to a job interview at John Lewis. I filled out an application online about a month ago and didn't hear anything from then until Monday, until I got a phone call asking if I could make a group interview on Wednesday with a few other people who'd applied for the job. I said yes, thinking that maybe it'd just be about ten of us or something like that. I get there early and find the reception, and there's about two dozen people standing there. I walk in and quickly back out again, slightly confused and panicking because these people look like they've walked out of The Apprentice. However, I go back in and tell the lady at reception that I'm here for a group job interview and she marks me off of a very long list of names. I stand and wait because it's not half 2, during which more people come in. Then we are told that we need our i.d. so I give them my passport and joined the other people in my group. We had to fill out forms asking when we could and work and medical stuff, and we also had to wear name labels. I don't like wearing name labels- I'd rather introduce myself...but then again, I do have a tendency to forget names. Anyway, we then met our assessor and we had to go round and introduce ourselves using the points on the poster (again, which is something I wish they hadn't done. I do know how to introduce myself...) which I didn't do to well on, because I stuttered and I could feel myself going red in the face. We then started the activities; the first one requiring us to build a card tower. We didn't manage to make one as none of us knew how to, but I relaxed a bit and didn't stutter as much. After that we had to sell a product to our assessor (I can't remember her name. I think it was Caroline.) and mine was a kids picnic set, which I think I did well enough. Our time was up then and we got told to chat amongst ourselves, so Caroline asked us questions about what area we wanted to work in. I wish she had just let us chat, because there was a girl in my group doing Journalism at Southampton Solent Uni and it would've been interesting to talk to her. Then it was over, and I rang my mum, and we met and she bought me two calendars for next year (one of New York and one of Friends) and I came home and flopped.

Today I've decided I'm going to write weekly goals for myself. It's not going to be a to do list (though I probably should have one of those as well, goodness knows I've got enough college work to do/catch up on) just things I want to achieve. I thought I'd start now, despite the fact it's Thursday and nearly the end of the week. So...(these aren't in any order, btw)

1. Post Julian Graves job application. (I was going to include completing Debenhams and M&S job applications but I did them last night and today respectively, so I can't write those down)

2. Read to Chapter 20 of Howards End. (I need to include college things this week...)

3. Start and finish my personal statement.

4. Make sure I watch Scrubs tonight. :) (because who said goals had to be boring?)

5. Read a book that isn't Howards End. (because I need to, it's been ages.)

6. Go to Romsey and start buying people's Christmas presents. (It's just over two months away. How did this happen?)

I think that's reasonable, don't you? And if I can't achieve them all by the end of this week then I'll know to either choose fewer goals or more attainable goals.

Right, this has probably been the longest blog post I've ever written, so I'm going to shut up now, because I'm hungry and need food.

B xxx :)

Eleven: Daily Blog Posts? You've got to be kidding.

First of all, some quick updates.

-I've been to the Friends cáfe in London.
-I've seen Michael McIntyre live.
-I've seen the Sound of Music.
-I've watched QI for the first time.
-I haven't read much at all, apart from Howards End for English Lit.
-I've started the whole UCAS thing.
-I've discovered I like someone who I thought was just a friend.
-I've found out that next week, Thursday and Friday are inset days so I'll have 5 days off. :)
-On those days I've planned to go to Romsey to start Christmas shopping.
-I can't believe next month is NaNoWriMo and am excited about it.
-DailyBooth is frustrating.
-I'm good at writing lists.
-I may be home alone at half term.

Second of all, some notes on the above updates.

-I love London. I don't think I could live there, but I've never tried, so who knows.
-I hate college but will put up with it for the sake of going to university.
-I'm a bit worried about choosing unis, but think I've made the right choices.
-I can't- and won't- ever tell this person I like them, because I appreciate their friendship. Bleurgh, this entry is descending into mush.
-I want to start NaNoWriMo. NOW.
-I have practically no money so I have to decided who will and won't be getting Christmas presents. Unless I make handmade gifts...*visions of calendars with spray painted pasta shapes on*

Thirdly...oh wait, I've got nothing else to say.

Goodbyeeeee

B xxx :)

Ten: Books. Because I can, and I want them.

Blogger is stupid and wouldn't let me upload more than one image at once, so I had to it one at a time and then they kept moving. Anyway, I have been patient. What you see above is constantly being added to and I'll probably do another one in a month or so, in the hope that before then I'll have had read at least one of them (I'm relying on amazon to be nice and cheap atm).

B xxx :)