Fifty One: Part One.

"Rien n'est plus dangereux qu'une idée quand on n'a qu'une idée."

Alain (Émilie-Augsuste Chartier), taken from Propos sur la religion. NB: not a book I've actually read.

Why are decisions so hard to make?



A primary reason for decisions being so hard to make is that they have consequences. When deciding which decision to make, most people will tell you that the first thing they’ll do is to make a pros and cons list. This can be affective, particularly if you have very few options and if one list outweighs the other, the problem is easily solved, a decision is made and the world carries on as normal. However, not all decisions are that easy to make. There may be several options. A pros and cons list may not help at all- they are mostly full of hypothetical points, after all. You are trying to predict the future. So, you may ask, how do you decide what to do when the decision is not so simple? Well, you do what I’m doing now: you sit down, you get a pen and paper and you write. You try and make a sense of the situation that you are in. As Noah Bennett (Claire Bennett’s dad on Heroes) said “Perhaps you need to understand who you were to know where you are going.” He suggests that if we look at the past we will be able to understand our present, and indeed, our future. I’m sure there’s a stack of quotes against that – most telling us to seize the day (“Carpe diem” among others). And if you don’t manage to fully understand the situation, you have, at least, defined it. Next, come of the list options, which, in a decision like this, is long and calls for many piles of pros and cons. We worry- do we trust our head, or do we trust our heart? Our head contains logic and all things sensible, whereas our heart contains emotion, but also our instincts. After all this, you should have arrived at a conclusion which contains the decision best for you. What do you mean you haven’t come to one? Well, it could be because the decision could depend on another person’s reactions, which are difficult to predict, not matter how well you think you know the person. This is one of those times when you imagine having a conversation with this person, planning what they will say and how they will react. It’s not a good idea, as most of the time they will react in a completely different way. So what do you do? Well, you could risk it, go ahead and see what happens. But if you’re a bit of a wimp and worried about the consequences, you tend to leave it, generally with the phrase ‘I’ll just wait and see what happens’. Your decision is to not make a decision. You do nothing at all. Which can go either way really. There’s a chance it’ll work out for the best. But there’s also a chance that the worse decision you can make is to not make a decision at all. So you’re faced with whether to make a decision about making a decision. Confused? Don’t blame you. Of course, other people often offer advice. Sometimes this helps. Other times people don't understand what there is to decide about and simply laugh it off.

So,how do you decide? I'd like to tell you I know, but I don't.

B xxx

P.S.  Part Two will be tomorrow, and will contain normal, holiday related things.