Fifty One/Two: Part Two.

"I need to be bold

Need to jump in the cold water

Need to grow older with a girl like you

Finally see you are naturally

The one to make it so easy

When you show me the truth

Yeah, I'd rather be with you

Say you want the same thing too"

I'd rather be with you - Joshua Radin

I decided I'd do a collage of pictures, rather than posting them individually.

In this picture:
Posing with bronze statues, Leaving Puerto Vallarta, Writing my name on the beach, man on a dancing horse, a statu of a ballerina, the shopping centre in Puerto Vallarta, the arch in Cabo San Lucas, watching bricks being made, me and mum being silly, getting soaked by a wave, the beach, a small girl working at a brick making site, my mum, the market in Mazatlan and Mexican dancers.
Other things that happened that aren't in these pictures:
Saw dolphins, lost at Scrabble, sunbathed, ate free food, saw sealions, went on a glass bottom tour, briefly had a pelican stalker, got two braids in my hair, saw two stingray up close and wrote a lot.

Also, this has got nothing to do with holidays, but look how adorable she is:

This was taken when I went to see Greenwich Uni and stayed with Richard and Patti, who are distant relations. They named their baby Alicia (pronounced A-liss-ya) and it's her christening in June. I have no idea what to wear to it, so if anyone's got any ideas, I’m open to them. I’ve seen the chapel wear she’s going to be christened, and it’s beautiful- it’s actually part of the university grounds so heaven forbid I end up going to Greenwich at least I’ll have a quiet-ish place. When there’s not tourists.

Anyway,bye...

B xxx :)

Fifty One: Part One.

"Rien n'est plus dangereux qu'une idée quand on n'a qu'une idée."

Alain (Émilie-Augsuste Chartier), taken from Propos sur la religion. NB: not a book I've actually read.

Why are decisions so hard to make?



A primary reason for decisions being so hard to make is that they have consequences. When deciding which decision to make, most people will tell you that the first thing they’ll do is to make a pros and cons list. This can be affective, particularly if you have very few options and if one list outweighs the other, the problem is easily solved, a decision is made and the world carries on as normal. However, not all decisions are that easy to make. There may be several options. A pros and cons list may not help at all- they are mostly full of hypothetical points, after all. You are trying to predict the future. So, you may ask, how do you decide what to do when the decision is not so simple? Well, you do what I’m doing now: you sit down, you get a pen and paper and you write. You try and make a sense of the situation that you are in. As Noah Bennett (Claire Bennett’s dad on Heroes) said “Perhaps you need to understand who you were to know where you are going.” He suggests that if we look at the past we will be able to understand our present, and indeed, our future. I’m sure there’s a stack of quotes against that – most telling us to seize the day (“Carpe diem” among others). And if you don’t manage to fully understand the situation, you have, at least, defined it. Next, come of the list options, which, in a decision like this, is long and calls for many piles of pros and cons. We worry- do we trust our head, or do we trust our heart? Our head contains logic and all things sensible, whereas our heart contains emotion, but also our instincts. After all this, you should have arrived at a conclusion which contains the decision best for you. What do you mean you haven’t come to one? Well, it could be because the decision could depend on another person’s reactions, which are difficult to predict, not matter how well you think you know the person. This is one of those times when you imagine having a conversation with this person, planning what they will say and how they will react. It’s not a good idea, as most of the time they will react in a completely different way. So what do you do? Well, you could risk it, go ahead and see what happens. But if you’re a bit of a wimp and worried about the consequences, you tend to leave it, generally with the phrase ‘I’ll just wait and see what happens’. Your decision is to not make a decision. You do nothing at all. Which can go either way really. There’s a chance it’ll work out for the best. But there’s also a chance that the worse decision you can make is to not make a decision at all. So you’re faced with whether to make a decision about making a decision. Confused? Don’t blame you. Of course, other people often offer advice. Sometimes this helps. Other times people don't understand what there is to decide about and simply laugh it off.

So,how do you decide? I'd like to tell you I know, but I don't.

B xxx

P.S.  Part Two will be tomorrow, and will contain normal, holiday related things.

Fifty: Fiiivvveeee Oohhhh.

"Don't unplug me

or just shut me down

Please just love me

with your steel heart

I'd reboot you

If you'd look at me

With those cold eyes

One more time..."

Don't Unplug Me- ALL CAPS

Yeah, that 'proper' blog I started sort of got pushed aside due to the huge amount of work I suddenly had. Teachers don't seem to understand the concept of holidays. At all. Anyway, I suppose I could copy and paste what I already wrote...

Last Wednesday I got a phone call from Lydia, and she and Dominic picked me up to go theirs for a dvd night (via Tesco to buy popcorn) and while we were waiting for the popcorn to heat up in the microwave, Lydia put her iPod on and hip wiggling to Lady Gaga somehow happened...anyway, at some point Lydia said something along the lines of “Bottom punching is not an acceptable dance move.” We watched Juno, which is one of my favourite films (and one I probably should have put down in my last entry as my favourite film instead of Twilight :P). One of my favourite quotes from it is spoken by Juno’s dad, when he says to Juno “Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.”

Anyway (I'm highly aware that I’ve used that word a lot. Sorry about that.) Other stuff that I was going to talk about included going to town (I tried my first BLT. And I have three words to say about it: Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot believe I have gone through my entire life and not had one.) to do shopping, books I’ve been reading (or haven’t been reading. I’ve had if nobody speaks of remarkable things since my birthday and I still haven’t read it. It’s very unlike me.) and a good general moan about life. However, there is packing to be done and this essay isn't going to write itself...
B xxx

P.S. I have American Dollars. They smell like my childhood.



P.P.S. John Green googles himself. If famous authors are doing it, then I’m allowed to do it. :P

Forty Nine: Not amused.

"And not a single day goes by when I don't wish for you
To watch me pause to find the words to steal your heart away
But I'll play every word back round and round to try and find
A clue you might have left behind to say you feel the same"

Holding On- Alex Day (I'm sure I've used these lyrics before...)

 
Emailing in from college, because I'm annoyed, and as usual, have no idea what to do about it. MEN.
 
I did actually start writing a 'proper' blog last night, but I got distracted by the internet and Glee so I'll probably finish that when I get back home. Procrastinating from doing any work, as usual.
 
Leona (aka English Language teacher, head of English, hideous brown coat thingymajica wearer and is generally all round a scary woman) decided to rap some Eminem lyrics to prove a point. I've never tried so hard not to laugh in my life.
 
I should really get back to doing this Key Skills. I'd better get 20 UCAS points.
 
B xxx

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Do you have a story that started on Hotmail? Tell us now

Forty Eight: Googling.

"This girl is stuck on my ella, e-ella-vator..."

Elevator- Flo Rida (feat. Timbaland)
 

'Borrowed' from Lydia, who apparently 'borrowed' it from Ben Loka. You search the answers to each of the questions that follow in Google images and collate the results:

1. What is your name?
2. What is your favourite food?
3. Where is your hometown?
4. What is your favourite colour?
5. What is your favourite film?
6. What is your favourite drink?
7. What is your dream holiday?
8. What is your favourite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe you?
10. How do you feel right now?
11. What do you love the most?
12. What do you want to be in the future?

B xxx

EDIT: I was kidding about Twilight. Just in case you were wondering.

Forty Seven: Impossible (and mostly stupid) dreams.

"The sky's getting darker, the air's getting cooler

And I just can't win anymore

So forgive me, my darling

We all have impossible dreams"

Impossible Dreams- Alex Day

-Direct a music video.
-Take good photos.
-Play the violin well enough so it sounds like this.
-Dance on stage at the West End.
-Learn to play the guitar.
-Live in New York.
-Become a published author.
-Set up a cake shop in Paris.
-Have my own column in a newspaper/magazine.
-Travel and see as many places as possible.
-Become fluent in another language.
-Be part of a piano concert.
-Run a marathon.
-Find someone who likes me for who I am.

B xxx

Forty Six: Birthday, London, blah, etc etc.

"She hid around corners and she hid under beds

She killed it with kisses and from all it she fled

With every bubble she sank with her drink

And washed it away down the kitchen sink..."

Dog Days Are Over- Florence + The Machine

I'm going to write in bullet points today, simply because I'm old.
-Thursday.
Birthday. :) Woke up early to get exam results. Got a C in my English Language re-sit. Didn't really care about Critical Thinking. Woke up my mum at 6 to tell her exam results. Went back to bed. Got up, opened cards and presents. Went to Hythe. Both Mum and I couldn't remember where we parked the car. Went to Lymington. Had lunch. Went shopping. Came home, had tea with Nana. Got picked up by Lydia and Andy, car filled with balloons. Went to pick up Dominic, balloon fight ensued. Went bowling, came last, last and second. Lydia and I attempted the dance mats, discovered they couldn't do two players. Decided we would do it together. Failed anyway. Went home, opened presents from friends, smiled at them being clever.

-Friday.
Woke up late. Forgotten I hadn't packed. Mad running around the house like a headless chicken to find everything. Finally left about 11. Fell asleep in car, woke up to eat and to my mum panicking because she didn't know where we were going. Mum drove in bus lane by accident, bus cut in front and nearly took off the wing mirror. Got to Richard and Patti's (aka relatives on my mum's side. I don't know how we're related) in one piece. Unpacked. Went for a walk, saw the University. It rained, we stopped in a cafe. Had huge mug of hot chocolate. Went home, played with Richard and Patti's baby Alicia (pronounced A-lees-ya) who is the world's happiest baby. Ate and went to bed.

-Today.
Woke up to church bells. Got up, got ready, walked to university. Welcome talk pretty much the same as at Chichester. Student accommodation HUGE. Giant student village kind of thing. Campus tour. Liked the library. Confirmed by theory that all libraries smell the same. Kept this thought to myself as to not freak out the people around me. Talk about courses. Was alright. Discovered in the car on the way back home that mini Oreos are addictive. Slept for most of the journey. Came home. Discovered I didn't really want to be home. Made the conclusion that I don't really like home. Thought about it and came to another conclusion that there's nothing really for me here and actually can't wait to go to uni. Watched Heroes. Now bored. Listening to the sound of my mum snoring. Nothing to do. Not tired enough to sleep. Writing this. To predict the future: writing. debating. maybe walking. eventually sleep.

-Tomorrow:
Mother's Day 'lunch' at 4 with cousins and various other people.

Goodbye.

B xxx