Eighty Five:

This was going to be an entry based around the last episode of Glee (that was shown in the US, aka 'Born This Way') but it was filled with clichés about accepting yourself so I didn't really want to write it. That, and I've written 4 essays and done an exam this week so I'm not really in the mood for writing a long entry, so instead I've started writing again without really knowing where I'm going with this, as per usual :P I think it's best I make a list about things I want to talk about it, because apparently I'm good at writing those.

1. Doctor Who.

Come on, you should have seen this one coming. The new series (so far), is good. I liked the second episode better than the first, but still...the amount of cliffhangers in them both is astounding. And my brain is going crazy with theories after the second episode. I'm still not exactly decided about River Song- I like the fact that she's a lot more flirty with the Doctor this series, but there's a moment at the end of the second episode (spoilers!) that almost made me pity her. And River Song doesn't strike me as a woman who needs to be pitied. Oh, and Rory? Sweetest boyfriend ever.

2. Harry Potter.

It was only a couple of days after watching the trailer for Deathly Hallows Part 2 that it occured to that it would be the last time I'd ever watch a Harry Potter trailer. It doesn't really bother me, as I know that just because it's over it doesn't mean that I'll stop watching the films or reading the books, and that 10 years from now I'll probably be doing the same. If we were to get all mushy for a moment I'd talk about how it's changed my life and that there quite a few people who wouldn't be in my life right now if it wasn't for Harry Potter, but you'd probably give me a weird look.

3. Summer Ball.

Well, I wouldn't call it a 'ball' exactly, more like a night at the SU where there's marquees outside and hog roast (nom nom nom), a crepe van (even more nom nom nom, I may not be able to fit into my dress by the end of the night), laser quest, bungee run and a rodeo bull. Supposedly. I'm sort of looking forward to it, but at the same I'm thinking I'd much rather either a) have a night in with a tub of Ben & Jerry's, a few films and the rest of my hallmates who aren't going or b) have a night out involving going to several pubs and then finishing and the chinese with previously mentioned hallmates. But...my ticket was £27 and I've bought new shoes, so I'll go. It'll be...interesting.

4. University.

In general has been ridiculously stressful recently what with exams and essays and arguments but I think things have settled down now (hopefully). I finish handing in work on the 10th and then I'll have officially finished my first year...wow, that's weird. I'm staying in accommodation until the 4th June, so I'm looking forward to just doing nothing, catching up with people and generally enjoying this sunny weather we seem to be having lately :P

5. Home.

I've been more homesick this semester than last, so I've gone home more, but I've found it hasn't helped as everytime I go back to uni I feel worse. I don't know what it is in particular that I miss; maybe it's living in an actual house, maybe it's my family. I actually said I missed my brother the other day...well, there's a first time for everything.

6. Other stuff.

Having been a deprived child (and teenager, and everything else...) I've started trying to catch up on all the things I missed, which so far seemed to have included watching Disney films and eating candyfloss. I have a long list of films and TV shows to watch...as I write, I'm watching the IT crowd. I love Moss. He's my favourite. Anyway...

B xxx :)

Eighty Four: Little things.

-When the hallway smells nice after someone's had a shower.
-Freshly washed clothes and sheets.
-Bouncing around on my space hopper.
-Toast and tea in my TARDIS mug.
-The smell of books.
-My ukulele.
-Getting dolly mixtures from the Student Union shop.
-Eating too much pizza and not being able to move.
-Spontaneous trips to the pub.
-Phone calls from my family.
-Good weather.
-Looking ridiculous and not caring.
-Lovely people.
-Chocolate croissants in the microwave.
-A new idea.
-Freshly cut grass.
-Getting post.
-Mini eggs.
-Lie ins.
-Weekends.
-Spontaneous trips everywhere.

B xxx :)

Eighty Three: 64.

I feel guilty because the only reason I'm writing this entry is tell you I've started a new blog. It's not going to replace this, it's just that I've written a list of 64 things I want to do before 2013 that aren't all obvious (well some are, like get my degree. But most aren't.) and so I wanted to keep a blog so I could keep all that stuff in one place and not have to bore you with it. I've already doing some of them, I'm just too lazy to update :P Proper blog soon...I promise. I've got something planned, I just need to write it. B xxx

Eighty Two: 2011.

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

Neil Gaiman

You may need a drink if you're reading this, it might help... :)

So yesterday I tried to write this blog, and I found that I couldn't. I tried to review the past year, saying how good it was, but it just didn't happen. So I closed my laptop, put on Being Erica, got out my diary and tried to work out why the past year had been so bad. I'm not seeing it's all been completely bad- I do have several good memories of the past year. It's like in the episode Vincent and the Doctor (Series 5, Episode 10 in case your were wondering), when the Doctor says "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make the unimportant." But basically what it comes to is the fact that it's my fault. I haven't actually admitted to it, because when you're feeling bad the last thing you want to admit to is that it's your fault (unless it's painstakingly obvious, of course). And as a consequence I made bad decision after bad decision and kept trying to make bad relationships work for reasons I still don't understand because they weren't benefiting me or the other people involved. As a consequence of these bad decisions I find it hard to trust people, which is really stupid. There are many lovely, trustworthy people who I know and yet I decide not to trust them, simply because people in the past proved untrustworthy. It's pretty selfish. My brain has sort of come to the conclusion that all the people are the same when it comes to trusting them, which is stupid. Another consequence is that I've become scared of becoming too emotionally attached to people, so instead I distance myself from them. When going to university, I was more worried about losing the people I had in my life than about meeting new people, when it really should have been the other way round. It's awkward, because when I go back, I can't just walk into one of their rooms and say 'Hi, I realise I've been a bit shit these last couple of months and I missed out on the whole 'getting to know you' thing everyone did at the start of last semester because I was worried about losing my best friend, so if you don't mind re-introducing yourself, that'd be lovely. I hear you've got a brother, what's he like?'. Because if I don't appear weird enough already (what with my open love for books, Harry Potter and Doctor Who) that would probably put them off even more. I don't know how to talk to people anyway, and 9 times out of 10 when I open my mouth I generally wish I didn't and if there's too much silence I often say the first thing that comes in to my head. Which is often not good.

So basically a conclusion of this blog post is that I am ridiculous, 2010 has been ridiculous and I'm going to try (though I have no idea where to start) to make 2011 less ridiculous. Despite the somewhat depressing tone of this I'm actually in an alright mood. My sonic screwdriver came in the post today, as did Toy Story 3 on dvd which I watched this evening with my Mum and Peter. Mum cried at the end, like I thought she would. I'm now watching Russell Howard's Good News and afterwards Family Guy, which I haven't watched in a long time, and I've recorded Tim Minchin to watch later, and I suppose at some point they'll have some kind of countdown to the New Year so I'll most likely watch that.

Happy New Year, if you're reading this before midnight. Though I don't know why the time makes any difference...

B xxx :)

Eighty One: Home.

Apologies for neglecting you for so long...at this rate I'll be averaging a blog a month. Uni work has been crazy- in the last two weeks I've had four essays and two exams to do, the last of which was Thursday. Being home is mostly wonderful. I went to see my Nana yesterday for lunch, which was nice, and when I came home I sat down, my Mum made me bangers and mash (which is one of my favourite meals) and later we had pancakes and watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Everyone went to bed and I watched QI and Mock The Week while eating all the Malteser ones out of the box of Celebrations :P
This semester has been...long. The work hasn't been too bad, and I've enjoyed it which I guess makes it easier. I've made bad decisions, I've made good decisions. Such is life. I've appreciated home and my family a lot more but also learnt things I wouldn't have done if I'd not gone to university. I'm fairly certain I made the right choice in both course and university, and my life could be considerably worse. 
It suddenly struck me the other day how I'm going to be 20 in March, meaning I'll no longer be a teenager. It's a bit scary, seeing as I'm far from feeling -or as I'm sure my Mum would argue- acting like an adult. However, me and three other girls from my halls have put down a partial deposit down on a house for next September. I hadn't actually seen the house before yesterday, but they all assured me it was lovely, and on the way back from university we drove past it. They were right, and it's in a nice neighbourhood as well which satisfied my Mum. 
I'm at home now until Tuesday when hopefully (depending on the weather, though apparently Heathrow are prepared) we will be going to Mexico until 6th January. Some of my relatives were meant to be visiting us tomorrow (they've come from Australia) but they're staying in Brighton so I don't think they'll get to us. When I get back I'll have just under a couple of weeks at home before going back, when Semester 2 starts...this year will be over soon.
The Doctor Who Christmas special from 2008 is on, and although it's not one of my favourite episodes, I'm still going to watch it. 
Oh- and Merry Christmas. And have a good New Year. 
B xxx :)

Eighty: Fruit Gums.

"And if you're happy then I'll be happy for you

I hope everything you want it finds you too

But I'm gonna get as far as I can from here.."

As far as I can- Greg Holden

I'm currently eating out of a bag of Rowntree's pick & mix and have just finished eating all the ones that I like and now all that are left are the fruit gums. I don't like fruit gums. Anyway, I'm sure you're all really pleased to know that I have such a healthy lifestyle that I eat sweets for breakfast. I'm usually not bad at eating breakfast, but I can't be arsed to make anything at it being half 11 it's practically  lunch time.
Anyway, apologies for not writing a blog in so long, but university has been happening and stuff has been happening and it's all been a bit argh (at this point if I had it there would be a picture of me looking considerably older, pulling my hair out and walking around with a zimmer frame).
But since I last wrote:
-I got dumped my boyfriend for not having sex with him (yes, this is probably too personal to tell you but I'm past the point of caring).
-Handed in my Victorian Literature essay which I got a 2:1 for. :D
-Went home for Reading Week. Well, I actually went to the Lake District with my family. Which was nice. I actually did a lot of reading, though nothing that I actually needed to read. Picture:
-Signed up to something called The Sketchbook Project, details of which can be found if you click on the link.
-Started NaNoWriMo, which I am now epically behind on.
-Went home last weekend and had Christmas dinner with my family (because we're going to Mexico for Christmas and my Dad's going back to the ship on the 26th and although we'll all be together it won't be the same), relaxed and saw some people I haven't seen in a while.
-Went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One and it was just...I don't know, there aren't really words. I loved it. It was properly scary in places, even though I knew what was going to happen because of reading the book. I almost cried in several places, the first being when Hermione erased the memories of her parents so they'd forget her, when Ron left and when Dobby died (a scene which I think they did beautifully, by the way). No doubt I'll  be going to see it again at some point, and demanding they play part two right afterwards.
University work now seems to dominate my spare time. I have four essays and two exams next month, spread out over two weeks in December and I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in.
Right, should finish getting ready and go and get lunch.
B xxx

Seventy Nine: :)

I am in a good mood. My family is coming to see me on Sunday and we're going out for lunch. It's the weekend at last, though this afternoon my lectures seem to drag on. Television Genre wasn't too bad, we did about reality television so that meant a lot of watching Big Brother. My boyfriend is wonderfully patient, for reasons I don't understand. He does want you all to know he's a sex magnet though...I bought a photo frame and Ludovico Einaudi cd yesterday from a charity shop for £3. Life is good. B xxx :)